George Abitbol, the classiest man in the world, dies tragically during a cruise. The director of an American newspaper, wondering about the meaning of these intriguing final words, asks his three best investigators, Dave, Peter and Steven, to solve the mystery. (Sixteen French actors dub scenes from various Warner Bros. films to create a parody of Citizen Kane, 1941.)

A Hollywood songwriter goes through a mid-life crisis and becomes infatuated with a sexy blonde newlywed.

After being released on parole, a burglar attempts to go straight, get a regular job, and just go by the rules. He soon finds himself back in jail at the hands of a power-hungry parole officer.

A young cowboy, whose dedication to the principles of peace and reason has earned him a reputation for cowardice, overcomes his psychological aversion to violence after his elder brother unjustly censures him for not joining in a foolhardy gunfight in which their youngest brother is killed.

Mitch Wayne is a geologist working for the Hadleys, an oil-rich Texas family. While the patriarch, Jasper, works hard to establish the family business, his irresponsible son, Kyle, is an alcoholic playboy, and his daughter, Marylee, is the town tramp. Mitch harbors a secret love for Kyle's unsatisfied wife, Lucy -- a fact that leaves him exposed when the jealous Marylee accuses him of murder.

When a toy manufacturer feels ignored and unappreciated by his wife and children, he begins to rekindle a past love when a former employee comes back into his life.

In the U. S. Army intelligence office, bumbling lieutenant Peter Stirling receives a coded message from his friend, Francis, a talking mule. The note urges Pete to hurry to the Coronado, California naval base, where Francis is about to be sold as surplus. Pete rushes to the train station, but before he can board, nurse Betsy Donevan mistakes him for her shell-shocked brother, Navy boatswain Slicker Donevan. She tries to forcibly remove his uniform so he will not get into trouble for impersonating an Army officer. Finally she realizes that Pete is not Slicker but merely his mirror image.

TV goes Hollywood when Steve Allen visits Universal-International to prepare for his upcoming title role in "The Benny Goodman Story."

France, 1803: 11 years after the Revolution, a royalist underground is led by a new 'Scarlet Pimpernel', the Purple Mask, who rescues nobles in distress and kidnaps Napoleon's officials for ransom, aided by the spy services of a group of lovely models headed by Laurette (really the Duc de Latour's daughter). But even she doesn't know the Purple Mask's real identity as foppish dancing master Rene...