A modern, dark-humored tale of greed, romance, and lost innocence in consumer-crazed, alienated society that functions as a harsh critique of society today without taking itself too seriously.

A bullied teenager turns to beauty pageants as a way to exact her revenge, with the help of a disgraced coach who soon realizes he's in over his head.

16 year old JULIET BELLO lives on a ranch with her stepmother KIM and two irritating stepbrothers, CRAIG and PETE. Since her father died the ranch has been going downhill, until in desperation Kim has to entertain the offer from businessman MONTGOMERY BEETLE or else face foreclosure. But Juliet thinks she has a secret that could keep the ranch open: her horse, HORATIO, can talk!

The Horton and Brady broods endure the romantic trials of life in Salem, a Midwestern hamlet filled with evil geniuses, star-crossed lovers and a rich family history.