Within two weeks, Sgt. Hardbutt has to clean up the crime in the streets before the Governor arrives. Hardbutt is forced to supplement his overworked staff with civilian "recruits" who he schemes to use to a disastrous advantage.

Brad, Steve, Hue, and Marvin are four get-nowhere boys who are forced into summer school, ending up at Cockswell Academy under the supervision of Principal Arsenault. The boys play a game where they earn points for every girl with which they score. On misadventures of their own, they decide to go for the ultimate 100-point score, Mona Lott, the new French teacher. But when they're unable to get a shot at her, they end up in the unforgiving clutches of the principal. After all is lost, they take one final chance during the school's anniversary celebration.

Welcome to T & A High, where the entire student body including campus virgin Purity Busch, chronic masturbator Melvin Jerkovski, repressed Principal Stuckoff and blonde bombshell Bootsie Goodhead all must rise to the challenges of freshman breast exams, bikini cheerleader attacks, inappropriate uses of bowling ball holes and much more.