An inept British WWII commander leads his troops to a series of misadventures in North Africa and Europe.

A nebbish schoolteacher begs his smooth (and misogynistic) pal to teach him 'the knack' – how to score with women. Serendipitously, the men meet up with a new girl in town, as well as a friendly lunatic who can’t help but paint things white.

Percy Winthram is a naive young man who still lives at home with his mum. In London for the Cup Final with his friends, he finds himself in a Soho strip club, where he meets blonde hostess Cyrenne. Accepting a bet from friend Ginger, he accompanies Cyrenne back to her flat, and a boast-worthy night of lust seems to be on the cards. However, drained of beer and bravado, Percy's innocence and vulnerability become all too evident.