"Sharing is Caring." "No Tattling." "Keep Your Hands to Yourself." All vital lessons emphasized at the Diego Segui Pre-School. Unfortunately, the staff has to spend all their time teaching them to the parents instead of the kids.

A pair of friends from Boston kick off their New Year by making a pact to murder the people who have mistreated them in this darkly comic thriller. When the slaughter starts, their ex-boyfriends will wish they'd been faithful.

Emile Brockton enjoys TV, chicken pot pies, and...well, not much else. His life has become a meaningless procession of banal activities that prompt him to spice things up the only way he can devise: by killing himself. However, the road to suicide is filled with many distractions, and these create the ultimate conundrum for Emile.