A parody of film genres composed of three shorts, spoofing personal growth films, glossy soap operas, and police stories.

Seward Sanitarium has been plagued by strange events, all following the takeover of a nearby abbey by Transylvanian Count Dracula. Visiting professor, Van Helsing, believes it to be the work of vampires, and when patients and staff begin turning up dead, realizes that he must act quickly to save the others.