Hailey is a conceited, professional woman and self-proclaimed serial dater with no interest in marriage. She believes no one man can possess all five of her most coveted qualities. She dates different men who possess diverse qualities, until she meets the one guy who seemingly has it all.

Mild-mannered Paul Blart has always had huge dreams of becoming a State Trooper. Until then, he patrols the local mall as a security guard. With his closely cropped moustache, personal transporter and gung-ho attitude, only Blart seems to take his job seriously. All that changes when a team of thugs raids the mall and takes hostages. Untrained, unarmed and a super-size target, Blart has to become a real cop to save the day.