An undead zombie wizard known as "The Litch" is hell-bent on devouring his victims and possessing the weak when his sacred crystal is stolen by a small-time crook and his crew of big-breasted witches. The Litch uses its power to transform into slimy mutant creatures, spilling gallons of blood from his victims on his quest to retrieve the crystal in order to rule the four worlds.

The quest for God's bong.

A slasher is killing surfers to make a surfboard out of human flesh.