There is distress in the West household after young Dr. West disappears mysteriously, causing his mother to notify the police, who assign the search to Detective Rhombus. The cause of all this excitement resides in the Parker apartment on the floor above where the doctor has gone to call on his sweetheart Kitty. She is in a dither because her father has decreed that she marry Gus Woozle, the pickle king. Dr. West and Kitty are planning to elope, but when her father returns unexpectedly, Kitty hides her lover in the boudoir. Parker tells his daughter that he has sent for Alderman Smiggles to officiate at her wedding and, to prevent any deviation in his plans, locks Kitty in her bedroom. Soon after, the detective arrives and arrests both Woozle and Parker for the doctor's disappearance. In their absence, Alderman Smiggles arrives and marries Kitty to the doctor.

Mary Alden and her brothers Matthew and George have extremely different political views. Matthew is a committed pacifist, and is constantly giving speeches against war. George is notified that his draft number, 258, has been called and to report for induction, but he refuses. Mary, on the other hand, is intensely patriotic and comes up with a plan to shame him into reporting for induction. Meanwhile, Matthew is being set up for a patsy by a gang of German secret agents, led by Van Bierman, who are planning to blow up an airplane factory.

The "girl" of the title was played by Hazel Dawn, a popular stage actress who briefly enjoyed a flourishing film career. Dawn plays Miss Shipley, an American girl vacationing in France. Our heroine finds herself the romantic bone of contention between two "men of the world" (William Roselle and Hal Clarendon), who end up fighting a duel over her affections.

A peasant girl sent to make a claim on her family's ancestral home in England's Wessex is seduced and left with child by its current owner.