Lewis, a gay writer of romantic novels, writes an article on gay issues under the pseudonym of "Zippy Grimes." The reason for this is that he hasn't come out yet and he doesn't want to alienate his mainly female fan-base. The article is a great success and leads to a huge amount of reactions, mainly from other gay men who are leading a double life. He decides to meet a number of these letter writers and eventually is forced to come out.

Timmy Lea and his brother-in-law Sidney Noggett are working as entertainment officers at Funfrall, a typical British holiday camp. The staff are lazy and inefficient, preferring to laze by the pool rather than organise activities for the holiday campers. A new owner, Mr. Whitemonk, an ex-prison officer, takes over the camp and is determined to install discipline into the staff. He is on the verge of dismissing Timmy and Sidney; however, Sidney's suggestion of organising a beauty contest changes his mind.

In a vein similar to Bond movies, a British agent Philip Calvert is on a mission to determine the whereabouts of a ship that disappeared near the coast of Scotland.