The journalists at the Onion News Network will do anything to stay at the top of their game. And if they can't find a great story, they'll create one.

New CIA operative Aaron Cross experiences life-or-death stakes that have been triggered by the previous actions of Jason Bourne.

Five-year-old Christopher is adamant that something is hiding in his closet. When no one takes him seriously, he summons up the courage to confront his fears in the dark.