A misfit group of World War II American soldiers goes AWOL to rob a bank behind German lines.

Ornithologist Abner Peacock sells off his modest-selling birdwatching periodical to a charlatan who turns it into a girlie mag, making it a massive financial success. After Peacock and the magazine are taken to court on obscenity charges, he unwillingly becomes a reluctant hero and ends up a swinging libertine.

Jesse W. Haywood (Don Knotts) graduates from dental school in Philadelphia in 1870 and goes west to become a frontier dentist. Penelope "Bad Penny" Cushing (Barbara Rhoades) is offered a pardon if she will track down a ring of gun smugglers. She tricks Haywood into a sham marriage as a disguise. Haywood inadvertently becomes the legendary "Doc the Haywood" after he guns down "Arnold the Kid".

Harper is a cynical private eye in the best tradition of Bogart. He even has Bogie's Baby hiring him to find her missing husband, getting involved along the way with an assortment of unsavory characters and an illegal-alien smuggling ring.