Dracula and Renefield relocate to 70's era New York in search of Cindy Sondheim, the reincarnation of Dracula's one true love, Mina Harker. "Trouble adjusting" is a wild understatement for the Count as he battles Cindy's psychiatrist, Jeffrey Rosenberg, a descendant of Van Helsing, who may almost certainly, possibly, may be in love with Cindy too.

When frustrated movie studio mogul Adolph Zitz announces a talent search for a romantic leading man to rival the great Rudolph Valentino, thousands of hopefuls decend upon Hollywood. Rudy Valentine, a neurotic baker from Milwaukee, knows little about romance or acting. But when his wife leaves him for the real Valentino, Rudy goes to outrageous lengths to win the role of a lifetime and win back the love of his life.