After taking his dying father's advice, Hal dates only the embodiments of female physical perfection. But that all changes after Hal has an unexpected run-in with self-help guru Tony Robbins. Intrigued by Hal's shallowness, Robbins hypnotizes him into seeing the beauty that exists even in the least physically appealing women. Hal soon falls for Rosemary, but he doesn't realize that his gorgeous girlfriend is actually a 300-pound-not-so-hottie.

Rhode Island State Trooper Charlie Baileygates has a multiple personality disorder. One personality is crazy and aggressive, while the other is more friendly and laid back. Both of these personalities fall in love with the same woman named Irene after Charlie loses his medication.

For Ted, prom night went about as bad as it’s possible for any night to go. Thirteen years later, he finally gets another chance with his old prom date, only to run up against other suitors including the sleazy detective he hired to find her.

After bowler Roy Munson swindles the wrong crowd and is left with a hook for a hand, he settles into impoverished obscurity. That is, until he uncovers the next big thing: an Amish kid named Ishmael. So, the corrupt and the hopelessly naive hit the circuit intent on settling an old score with Big Ern.