John Winger, an indolent sad sack in his 30s, impulsively joins the US Army after losing his job, his girlfriend and his apartment.

When frustrated movie studio mogul Adolph Zitz announces a talent search for a romantic leading man to rival the great Rudolph Valentino, thousands of hopefuls decend upon Hollywood. Rudy Valentine, a neurotic baker from Milwaukee, knows little about romance or acting. But when his wife leaves him for the real Valentino, Rudy goes to outrageous lengths to win the role of a lifetime and win back the love of his life.

When a Soviet submarine gets stuck on a sandbar off the coast of a New England island, its commander orders his second-in-command, Lieutenant Rozanov, to get them moving again before there is an international incident. Rozanov seeks assistance from the island locals, including the police chief and a vacationing television writer, while trying to allay their fears of a Communist invasion by claiming he and his crew are Norwegian sailors.

A huge articulated Pirelli truck and an E type Jaguar car pass and repass along Italy's breathtaking Autostrada Del Sole, to the accompaniment of jazz, pop and Vivaldi music.