During the World War II, the prisoners of a German camp in a Greek island are trying to escape. They not only want their freedom, but also seek an ineffable treasure hidden in a monastery at the summit of the island's mountain.

Two hoodlums, Trigger (Mickey Rooney) & Leo (Dick Emery) are hired by the unscrupulous J.K. (Peter Cook) to kidnap his niece Victoria (Alexandra Bastedo). The daughter of a wealthy businessman has been kidnapped, and the chief of police, under a lot of pressure to find her as soon as possible, assigns officers Kopek (John Candy) and Broom (Lawrence Dane) to track her down and bring her back safe and sound.

Sweeney is a playwright on a career decline. He spends much of his time wheedling money and beer out of his artistic friend Moriarty. One of his few highlights is weekly sex with his ex-wife Georgia. She is remarried to a rich but vile construction developer, but Sweeney and Gorgina are still in love.