Edward Wilson, the only witness to his father's suicide and member of the Skull and Bones Society while a student at Yale, is a morally upright young man who values honor and discretion, qualities that help him to be recruited for a career in the newly founded OSS. His dedication to his work does not come without a price though, leading him to sacrifice his ideals and eventually his family.

Jerri Blank is a former prostitute and junkie whore who returns to high school as a 46-year-old freshman at Flatpoint High. Jerri ran away from home and became 'a boozer, a user, and a loser' after dropping out as a teenager, supporting her drug habits through prostitution, stripping, and larceny. She has been to prison several times, the last time because she 'stole the TV'. At home, Jerri's father Guy is comatose, although he seems perfectly capable of amazing feats. Her stepmother Sara is vain and bitter, and stepbrother Derrick is a bullying jock. Jerri tries to do things the right way but always ends up learning the wrong lesson. Her hijinks often involve, either directly or indirectly, neurotic history teacher Chuck Noblet and his secret lover, sensitive art teacher Geoffrey Jellineck.