Ted is a 1970s Venice Beach poet who spends his days drifting along the boardwalk, reciting his poetry to anyone who will listen. His life changes when a bikini-clad beauty named Linda strolls by him. Instantly, Ted believes he's found his "Venus" and becomes obsessed with Linda. He tries to woo her with poetry, obscene phone calls and romantic overtures, all to disastrous effect.

Three hopefuls — a college grad, a dance teacher from Watts, and an incognito heiress — vie for a spot on the Los Angeles Lakers cheerleading team.

Hypochondriac Joe Banks finds out he has six months to live, quits his dead end job, musters the courage to ask his co-worker out on a date, and is then hired to jump into a volcano by a mysterious visitor.