Ted is a 1970s Venice Beach poet who spends his days drifting along the boardwalk, reciting his poetry to anyone who will listen. His life changes when a bikini-clad beauty named Linda strolls by him. Instantly, Ted believes he's found his "Venus" and becomes obsessed with Linda. He tries to woo her with poetry, obscene phone calls and romantic overtures, all to disastrous effect.

When corrupt real estate mogul Arnold Gruber evicts Joe and Lisa from their dwellings to make way for new buildings, martial arts-trained Joe turns sexy Lisa into his ninja disciple, and the two team up to fight back in this erotic action comedy. Gruber sends his own ninjas to eliminate Joe and Lisa, who may have trouble focusing on the enemy as they're consumed by their lust for each other.