Jerri Blank is a former prostitute and junkie whore who returns to high school as a 46-year-old freshman at Flatpoint High. Jerri ran away from home and became 'a boozer, a user, and a loser' after dropping out as a teenager, supporting her drug habits through prostitution, stripping, and larceny. She has been to prison several times, the last time because she 'stole the TV'. At home, Jerri's father Guy is comatose, although he seems perfectly capable of amazing feats. Her stepmother Sara is vain and bitter, and stepbrother Derrick is a bullying jock. Jerri tries to do things the right way but always ends up learning the wrong lesson. Her hijinks often involve, either directly or indirectly, neurotic history teacher Chuck Noblet and his secret lover, sensitive art teacher Geoffrey Jellineck.

Two losers from Milwaukee, Coop and Remer, invent a new game playing basketball, using baseball rules. When the game becomes a huge success, they, along with a billionaire's help, form the Professional Baseketball League where everyone gets the same pay and no team can change cities. Theirs is the only team standing in the way of major rule changes that the owner of a rival team wants to institute.