Joe Weber is an anthropologist who takes his son on a trip to the New England town of Salem's Lot unaware that it is populated by vampires. When the inhabitants reveal their secret, they ask Joe to write a bible for them.

Amalgamated Dairies hires David Rutherford, an FBI man turned industrial saboteur, to investigate a popular new product called “the Stuff,” a new dessert product that is blowing ice cream sales out of the water. Nobody knows how it’s made or what’s in it, but people are lining up to buy it. It's got a delicious flavor to die for!

After murdering a young would-be actress, megalomaniacal movie director Chris Neville sets about making a feature based on the murder, casting the dead woman's clueless husband as the patsy, and finding a dead ringer to play the part of the dead actress.

A hit-man tries to seduce the mother of a child who witnessed his most recent kill.

A narcissistic runaway engages in a number of parasitic relationships amongst members of New York's waning punk scene.