When record store owner and compulsive list-compiler Rob Gordon gets dumped by his long-time girlfriend, Laura, because he hasn't changed since they met, he revisits his top five breakups of all time in order to figure out what went wrong. As he examines his failed attempts at romance and happiness, the process finds him being dragged, kicking and screaming, into adulthood.

Nico Toscani is an Italian immigrant, American patriot, ex-CIA agent, aikido specialist and unorthodox Chicago policeman. He is as committed to his job as he is to his personalized brand of justice—expert and thorough bone-crushing.