In the not too distant future a secret government re-animation chemo-virus gets released into conservative Sartre, Nebraska and lands in an underground strip club. As the virus begins to spread, turning the strippers into "Super Zombie Strippers" the girls struggle with whether or not to conform to the new "fad" even if it means there's no turning back.

At popular South Beach University, filthy rich super-snob Victoria English is the absolute queen of leading Greek student club, Sigma Sigma. In order to achieve her crowning ambition, winning FHM Magazine's annual best sorority, she must recruit atypical 'Sigmies' to fulfill the diversity criteria. Ambitious sycophant pledge Kristen Haas helps her attract 'losers' (too poor, ugly, unfashionable), who are cruelly put through excruciating hazing, without intent to actually enroll them. Gloria, the brightest and most assertive pledge, wins the heart of Derek 'baby Dick', Victoria's ideal, yet constantly abused boyfriend, whose bitch-addiction is cured by this alternative lover. Together they lead the revolt of the not-even-nerds.

Morris Buttermaker is a burned-out minor league baseball player who loves to drink and can't keep his hands to himself. His long-suffering lawyer arranges for him to manage a local Little League team, and Buttermaker soon finds himself the head of a rag-tag group of misfit players. Through unconventional team-building exercises and his offbeat coaching style, Buttermaker helps his hapless Bears prepare to meet their rivals, the Yankees.