A small-time con artist and a Hawaiian real estate developer's mischievous, enterprising mistress team up for a potential $200,000 score.

A professional model, Sam Crain, is asked by her sister to smuggle a package from Europe to Portland Oregon, where she discovers that her sister is battling Chinese Shaolin Monks (not ninjas!). Fleeing the monks, Sam unwittingly involves Ed "Brainsmasher" Molloy, a nightclub bouncer.

Al Bundy is an unsuccessful middle aged shoe salesman with a miserable life and an equally dysfunctional family. He hates his job, his wife is lazy, his son is dysfunctional (especially with women), and his daughter is dim-witted and promiscuous.